Great Mother Energy!

So when getting ready for this trip in a healing session with Spencer we were talking about our trip, and through our healing I came to realize that I would looking at he deep feminine on this trip! Little did I know that I would be following a guru around India that one of my first teachers encouraged me to see in Portland 10 years ago. Her name is Amma, Amritanandamai, or some call her the hugging mother. She is this warm beautiful being that some say is an avatar. She has come to heal us, and she has devoted her life to loving people compassionately. She is a true being on this planet focusing on open and living form the heart. Even as a child she was from a poor family, and would give the food away that was in there house. Well that was my impression of her. So I understand the Guru path, but I have so many teachers I never thought about just going with one teacher! Many years ago a friend and I were doing a meditation class, and were encouraged by our teacher to go see her. So we are in the middle of Acupuncture school, and had many tests but thought that we could stop by and see her. She was doing darshan in a small church in PDX off of Stark Street. We went in, and both really wanted to see her. We gave our self an hour because then we needed to go study. We were in line, and decided that we were done waiting around there was maybe 40 more people ahead of us. At that point I was put off by all the push to give a donation to her for the darshan, and to be honest I thought it was great to be around a beautiful Indian women, but I had more important things to do I thought. 8 years latter I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

We were in Hampi, and she called me from there through several people I would chat with that were talking about going to Kerala to see her. So I figured that before we went to the Andaman Islands that I would see her in a public arena in Pondicherry. Pondicherry is a French enclave of India. The architecture is beautiful, and it is still India so the beach has garbage all over it...and cows! So what happens...we both get sick, and we are unable to see Auraville. Which is this alternative community that is huge in Pondicherry, that follows the gurus path called the Mother. That is a whole different story! So our last day there we go at 7ish to set in a stadium...something like a fair grounds in the states! It is huge, and this guy walks around with numbers from a-z numbered 1-99, and we are number H something. Somehow Spencer gets a number in the C area. We are told that we will be seen for Darshan with her at 1am. So we are still fighting colds, and we enjoy the Bajan with her. She has this amazing presence, and when you feel the song reach ecstasy she yells out maaaaaaa and is doing so with so much joy I have never seen! We are so into it, and then around 11pm we decide that we can not wait any longer. We are exhausted, and we have a bus ride back to Chennai to catch an early morning flight. I wanted to get blessed by her but not that Bad! I walked away slightly upset that I was not going to see her...but I did not really know what I was going to her for. Not yet did I know the question that I needed to ask, or how to go to her in honor and reverence! So it ate at me that I did not see her, but I thought that going to her ashram would do the trick.

So I did the back water trip in Kerala, which was not as fun as I thought going on the water with mostly looking at mining operations off the coast...and the smell of garbage. The beautiful part of the trip is watching the families wash there clothes on the banks, fish with Chinese fishing nets, and wave excitedly from the shores! So we arrive at ammas in the afternoon. After getting settled, and acquainted we go to the nightly bajans. The women are in a temple with kali, and the men are in a big auditorium. So here is Kali again, helping me to let go of my ego...be more in spirit and less in my head. I felt this healing energy all around me, and slept better than I have since we had been traveling. It was great to be staying in an Ashram, paying $150 rupees which is $4 a night for food and lodging. In the south they are in to dosas and idilies for breakfast. This was a surprise at how I had no hunger when eating this for breakfast. I have always thought that I needed protein when I am moving through the world, but this is an ashram...and it is only vegetarian. I was totally fine, and did not feel like I was hungry when eating this way. So we were on the fast track to get up to Pune, because there she would be in a few weeks. So with much deliberation as always as to how we are going to do this, we get on the boat in 2 days. I feel like I am leaving way too soon, but I want this hug!

We stop in Goa to have this lovely vacation; they are a Portuguese enclave so we were eating like queens and kings! We try to get a ticket to Puna, but would miss her by a few days. So we arrive in Pune to go to Osho's ashram, but it had this celebrity feel, and was not what we needed at the moment! Some of you Oregonians might remember the Rajneesh that settled near Bend...well that was Osho! We go as quickly as we can to the train station and get tickets easily to Bombay where she will be having a public darshan in another ashram! Let me tell you nothing is easy in India!!!! It can take 3 days, waiting in line, people pushing ahead of you, touts telling you to go to the wrong place so they can make a little money, and many more problems. The bottom line is if you are going in the wrong direction India will put breaks on you faster than you can imagine and lay you out sick for a week to teach you a lesson. This time the intelligent energy of India propelled us so fast to Bombay we were spinning!

We get to Bombay, and for the first time everything is easy. We have read the book "Shantaram"(read it is a great story of the underbelly of Bombay...or Mumbai now!) and know that there is a lot of blue collar crime, but we are prepared for the scams. There wasn't much for us to duck and dodge from. We had one guy who was trying to be a tout, but not succeeding to get the extra money to bring us to a room. We easily found a place to stay...not that nice because for lower paying guest houses you have to pay quite a bit for nothing. The next day we go early to see a local Mumbai philosophiser do a satsong. It is a talk an answer session were you ask him a question about life, and he answers it. His name is Ramesh Balsecar, and his philosophy is interesting in that he is focused on what he calls "daily living"! How do we live in the present moment daily? So it was fascinating to hear him talk to this big balliwood film producer about how to deal with all this fear about keeping his family healthy, and that they have enough money. Remesh tells him..."the movie is in the can" Well I can't do this one justice, but most the time we worry about what has happened, and what will happen....but really creator has been directing our movie from the beginning...we are just learning from our karma...and there is nothing we can do about this movie! We just learn the play as we go! I saw a big play of how one who has ego, can get themselves stripped when going to a teacher. One guy felt that he was enlightened, and didn't feel that what Remesh had to say was true. It was interesting watching someone come to prove a teacher wrong in there one Satsong! We get done there to go to see Amma!

We arrive by metro train in a smaller suburb of Mumbai. We try to take a taxi, but they won't because we realize that it is a minute walk to the ashram were she is doing darshan. We get there to realize that there is a line to get a number. So we get a ticket that is to say that we can get in line to get a number. We have not even gotten a ticket to get a number. We are standing in line, and Spencer is furious when I come back saying that we will have to wait until evening to get a number for darshan...literally translated into we will be there until the next morning. He says that he is leaving by the evening, and for me I am staying no matter what to get a ticket to get my hug. We split up because there is a women’s line that is shorter than a couple’s line! I am mad because I want to see her, and I do not want to go back on the train by myself at night in Bombay! I have dealt the whole time with this feeling of lack of freedom as a women, and am so upset about having to wait or leave with Spencer early. I am an independent women, and thank god that I was born in a country where even though discrimination exists against women I am still able to walk down a street in a tank top with out men making lewd comments, following me down the street, and drooling as I walk by. Just a little pro feminist rant sorry! As I am waiting with women, I am taken in with every one around me as they are chatting with me about there lives, wanting to know about mine. Spencer walks up with a ticket that someone just gave him to get in to see her and get his hug at that moment. I am so happy for him, and wait to watch on the screen as he goes up to get his hug! I am getting tired, but refining my question. Something about how I am a women, and the Devine femine, and how to be a healer in balance with working with other women. All this chanting and enjoying my self with others I feel the energy rise around me, and I feel ecstatic! Spencer comes out in a bliss from his hug...maybe I will get him to write about his experience? So I have still not even gotten a number and they tell us that we will have to wait in line until the evening to get a number, but I am determined, and now Spencer is willing to wait...he is in bliss. We go and have dinner of dosas that were simple but so good! Then we get fried bananas as desert which are so simple and the best treat yet! I am waiting by the bathroom as I hear if you are a women with a ticket from the afternoon and haven’t had a darshan with amma please come to the side of the ashram. I walk off forgetting that Spencer is at the bathroom, and will not be able to find me...but just as they are whisking me away he comes to say what are you doing...I say getting a hug from amma! I get to go back right by the stage were she is going to do Puja. This is were 100's of people are setting in front of her as she leads a ritual with fire, water, food, and smoke. They are chanting, and using all of this stuff to cleanse themselves while honoring the Hindu gods and goddesses. I feel as if I am doing these things with them. Then this is over, and I am being rushed to the stage....oh my god what is my question??? Right before I see her it comes to me that I need to heal the Devine feminine within my self before I can do anything else. I hear her telling me that I need to heal my uterus. I come up to get a hug as she whispers to me in English something the ocean tells me each time I greet her! I feel this heat burn in my 2nd chakra, and she says to put me off to the side. I feel euphoric, and extremely happy. Others around me are crying, and I wait until I feel the heat of my uterus reduce...and I feel my self feeling done with being on the stage...and I am now thinking 4 hours later if Spencer is ok?

Now 3 months later I do not know if I can say what has impacted me from this encounter. 1st my cycles are totally healed! It is the first time in my life that I am feeling healthy 100 percent in my body, and it could be food, weather, less stress...who knows, but it is great! I also have come to some great conclusions about when you are drawn to a master, and each person has to take there own path to learning the answers to questions! Not one teacher can direct the masses. Everyone will meet there spiritual quest at some point to be guided. Ok but for me who wouldn't want a hug from the great mother? Last she comes to the states, and does darshans...which it is so much easier than India, but I will go and stay in her ashram for a while in a few years while she will be teaching there! I don't know if I will be a disciple, but I do love her teachings...and as Remesh would say “the movie is in the can!”